ADP Benefit Services

Dear Cookie Jar Thief,


Congratulations! You have fooled me and all the other employees who participated in your commuter benefit plan. The prospect of saving money from transit fees sounded good the first time I heard it. Little did I know that I have let the devil gain access to my paycheck. I should have expected this early on when on the first month of contribution you “mistakenly” took a whole amount from one paycheck instead of the agreed bi-weekly contributions. If my officemate had not complained, we would not have been made aware – very sneaky. Knowing that your policy states that participants can only start enjoying the services after the first month of enrollment you have earned yourself instant cash. Unlike other commuter benefit services who immediately reimburses extra contributions you decided to continue taking out money from our paychecks consequently piling up our account balance with money we could not use because of your set monthly limit. Another win for ADP. Having landed a new job I learned from my previous employer’s payroll department of the outstanding balance in my account. I followed instructions given by an ADP representative on the proper way of submitting a claim. What do you know, my claim was denied. Your reason being, I’m no longer part of the plan. Funny how you could list that as a reason when you clearly state in your website that “Your card will automatically be deactivated if you terminate your participation in the plan. If you have unreimbursed expenses you will need to submit a reimbursement claim. ADP will process your reimbursement for the amount available in your account.” I guess your favorite quote would be “Ignorance is bliss”. We had put so much trust in your company that we made it so easy for you to take money. We did not even notice we already were being scammed. I hope you are happy rolling on other people’s money.


Sincerely yours,
Utot Mo

Jefferson Market Branch Library

Dear Conan the Librarian,


This is to inform you that I am utterly disappointed with your work as a librarian at Jefferson Market Library. Your rude and nasty attitude is disturbing. As a librarian, you should know better not to raise your voice while inside a library - shame on you. You are a disgrace to all the cordial, hardworking librarians in New York City. Was it too huge a mistake to come up to your counter before you yelled “NEXT!!!!”? Did my error cause the world to crumble? Your continuous yapping about this issue gave me an impression that you thought it did. The truth is the biggest mistake I made that day was to visit the Jefferson Market Library. If it will make you feel any better, I did not intend to go to your library as I was supposed to go to Andrew Heiskell Braille and Talking Book Library where the pleasant librarians work. Unfortunately, it was already closed. You see, it was a busy day at the office that I had to stay a little bit late to finish my work. It is for the same reason that I had not had time to pass by the library during lunch. In an effort to return the items I borrowed on time I had decided to go to Jefferson Market instead. Obviously, that was a mistake.

At any case, to help your problem of people walking up to your counter at your inconvenience I suggest you request your superior to order a lamp that you could flicker to indicate a customer that you are ready to do some work. If you have trouble imagining this type of equipment visit TJ Maxx down on 18th and Avenue of the Americas that should give you a clue. I will make it a note that the next time I put in a donation to the Friends of the Library that the money would go to that piece of equipment. That would surely ease your work. I failed to realize that pointing a laser to a barcode of a book could be so stressful. Also about your salt and pepper beard, it is doing a wonderful job of making you look like a terrorist. I surely hope that this is the look you are going for.


Sincerely,
Utot Mo